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Clean as in I�havenapos;t been thinking of Yoel.

I�was doing so well
and at this moment I�fell
because I�tripped over a log
and fell onto your� blogs
where I�caught myself reading
and at the pictures I�was seething
because it looked like you didnapos;t miss me
and thatapos;s what made my heart shatter.



And I�had my attention focused on other boys too. Like Alan, heapos;s such a sweetie. He wrote me the cutest letter, though his handwriting is kinda gay and the hearts were too...but still�It was the thought that counted.

Iapos;m so retarded. I�really am, its like iapos;m looking for trouble in my life when I�had just escaped a destined to be deeper heartache then I�already possessed. What was I�to him, just a fad? Had he moved onto other girls already? CHEESE�AND�CRACKERS, what is wrong with me. What in my mind wanted me to check his stupid myspace profile anyway. I�feel like those idiotic dumb girls who cry and get emotional when their ex boyfriend replaced them with someone new.

Except the difference between me and them is, I�never went out with him. I�mean I�only loved him and all, and he said he loved me. Then again he said he could never love me because of Jasmine.

WHATEVER. Seriously, I�need to start getting a better grip of my life, or at least my emotions. Because everything seems to be playing with them lately, like Anna and her TB. Why is everyone doubting and that sheapos;s trying to attract attention. Sheapos;s not, and I donapos;t believe it.

I�need people to talk to:(

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