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Why does everything always turn out this way?

I canapos;t stay here anymore, but Iapos;ve got no place to go.

I can;t go anywhere becasue then everyone thinks I am crapping out on them.


WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DO?

How am /I/ supposed to be happy when eveeryone around me is miserable, either by my fault or theirs?

FUCK

I just want all of it to end.


I just want people to be happy.


I can;t fuckin do anything right and no one is happy with anything?

so the house is a little messy, tough shit. Its not like I go around rubbing SHIT on the walls when youapos;re not here.


So Iapos;m a little lazy.

itapos;s not like I take time out of my day to just sit here and be a slob.

I;m doing what feels comfortable to ME.


I;m trying to make ME happy.

I can;t fucking change your mood or how you feel, so donapos;t expect me to go out of my way to make you feel like a princess when you can;t fucking do it yourself in the first place.


FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.


what the hell am I gonna do now?

I really can;t stay here anymore, but as I said before, Iapos;ve got nowhere else to go.


no one wants me around for more than a few days.

apparently I;m a horrible partner.

I;m a terrible roommate.
(Though no one tells me why)
and I;m stupid.


WHY AM I SO STUPID?
IS IT BECAUSE I PUT MYSELF BEFORE YOU?
OR TRY TO BE NICE TO YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU TREAT ME LIKE SCUM?

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH

all I want, is to be somewhere where people want me, and donapos;t hate me, and love me, and can deal with my apos;quirksapos; without making me feel like shit because of them.


no, I donapos;t want to get a job, and youapos;re gonna just have to sit there and deal with it.


you canapos;t MAKE me do anything I donapos;t want to.

and you have to deal with that too.


Iapos;m so tired of trying to put on a happy face for everyone and just have them take me at face value.


Iapos;m tired of people expecting me to be the same person I was 5 years ago when I started volunteering.


Iapos;m tired of everyone expecting me to know the answers to trivial shit I donapos;t care about.


Iapos;m tired of everyone expecting me to remember them after one meeting.


Iapos;m tired of being tired.

of being in pain.


Iapos;m tired of always being the brunt of someone elseapos;s problem.


Iapos;m just fucking tired.






x-posted out of extreme aggravation.

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